(This was meant to be released last year but because of my masters degree and assignment deadlines, it was delayed)
Since Valentine’s Day is getting close, I want to create a blog post for those who feel they’re lonely and have no one else to go to for comfort.
I’m also writing for those who are scared of being alone in general.
I was scrolling on YouTube and came across a video by Zoeunlimited discussing the art of being alone, the concept of loneliness and the idea of being alone and dating yourself.
So, what is being alone?
Being alone to me is when you spend quality time with yourself.
Why is being alone seemed as a negative thing?
I learned that we as humans are social creatures that need each other’s company.
Socialising has been a norm for decades and deciding not to hang out with people can be viewed as…weird.
Why are people like myself scared of being alone?
Because being alone has been viewed as a negative and is usually associated with loneliness.
How to change that mindset?
To be honest, you need to learn to be comfortable with yourself and learn the difference between being alone and feeling lonely.
Alone: you’re by yourself
Lonely: A feeling you have internally, a feeling of disconnect and isolation may I say?
You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely.
Came across a song when I was minding my own business on YouTube.
The song is fun and these are the lyrics.
“I’m alone but not lonely, alone but not lonely, alone but not lonely, alone”
That’s the whole lyrics to the song by the way.
How I felt after listening to this song.
Catchy, relatable and felt that the song has a positive outlook on being alone.
I used to love being alone as a child until someone gave me weird looks, even a dirty look as I was reading a book alone. After that, I started to believe that being alone was a bad thing and those that liked their own company were mocked. Then, I developed to despise the idea of being alone, especially in a public setting because I was conditioned to make fun of those that like to be alone until I entered my 20s.
I realised that I don’t need to be with someone all the time, especially in public and there are good things to do when alone like learning about yourself, your likes and dislikes. A date with yourself.
I did it a few times and at first, I felt uncomfortable since I thought it was weird until I went again and felt comfortable with myself.
Being alone may be depressing and daunting but it’s not; It’s a way to spend time and learning to be comfortable with yourself. It’s a way to improve ourselves to become a better version.
It may sound easy but it isn’t, it’s a process that requires learning and practice.
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